He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
