I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize