I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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