I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
