I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
