i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The power of my boobs compel you
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
