When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
