the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
