Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's shark week go big or go home
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize