My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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