I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
birth control should be required to get into college
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You need a sexual gate keeper
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
