i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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