Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Someone shit on the floor
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
