do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
