It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
