so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
