HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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