Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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