So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
