i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
did i just pee glitter
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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