I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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