East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
