2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
