Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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