dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
