Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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