you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
