everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
