i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
