Christians are straight up FREAKS
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
