found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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