Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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