we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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