After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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