It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
