I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
