I CAN MOONWALK!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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