okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize