the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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