how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
