scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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