ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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