Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize