i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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