I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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