yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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