We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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