i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
