I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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