Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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