the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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