Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
