I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
