i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
