it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
