just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
