I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
