hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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