He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
