Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
