there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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