sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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